How to Trust Yourself When Life Feels Like a Dumpster Fire
I’ve followed my intuition… but now my life is worse?!
Episode 4: When Intuition Leads You to a Dumpster Fire
You did it! You followed the nudge, made the leap, took the scary action. And now? Your life feels like it’s on fire.🔥
If you’ve ever trusted yourself and ended up questioning everything, this episode of Trust Yourself! is going to feel like a giant exhale. Sissy shares how following her gut led her straight into a chaotic new job, while Heidi drops metaphors (hello, Goblet of Fire hedge maze) and mindset shifts that’ll help you get moving forward again—without blaming your intuition.
Keep reading for intuitive tools, journal prompts, and a fiery reframe on what “wrong turns” really mean.
what to do When Trusting Yourself Doesn’t Go As Planned
Let’s be honest. There’s this subtle expectation that when we “follow our intuition,” things should instantly get easier. Magical even.
But what happens when:
You trust your gut and change jobs… and hate it
You take the leap… and everything gets harder
You ask for a sign… and get silence (or worse: ambiguity)
You start to think your gut betrayed you.
But here’s the truth: you can’t see the full picture when you're in the middle of a brush stroke.
Sissy’s Story: The Bold Leap That Fell Flat
Elise left a job she loved to pursue a “hell yes” opportunity—only to realize during orientation that it was all wrong. She stayed a year trying to make it work. She cried. She doubted herself. She felt like she failed.
But that dumpster fire?
→ Gave her the confidence to lead a team
→ Helped her see what she really wanted
→ Prepared her for her biggest leap yet—this business with Heidi
The lesson: That moment wasn’t failure. It was fuel.
So… What Do You Do When Everything Feels Wrong?
Here’s how to keep moving forward—even when your path feels like chaos:
1. Zoom Out
You’re in the brushstroke. You won’t see the masterpiece until later.
2. Ask for Signs (and Actually Accept Them)
The universe might not give you a literal green feather… but your kid’s drawing might be close enough. Open your eyes and your heart.
Sissy always asks for “signier-signs”… listen to the episode to see what she means!
3. Pull a Card, Not Your Hair
Use tarot, oracle cards, or journaling to check in. Just maybe don’t reshuffle the card you don’t like (Guilty!!).
4. Talk to People Who Get It
Bitching sessions are one thing. Supportive sisterhood is another. Find people who can hold your doubt and your vision.
- Join our FREE Substack for a healthy dose of supportive Sisterhood!
5. Daydream on Purpose
If you're stuck, try conscious daydreaming. Imagine other possibilities, even if you’re not ready to act yet. It opens doors.
- Be sure to listen to how Sissy did this while she was (not) enjoying her new architecture firm…
Journal Prompts: Dumpster Fire Edition
When have I trusted myself and things got worse… but later turned out better?
What do I believe about failure—and who taught me that?
What would I do if I knew the chaos was just part of the story?
If I believed my intuition didn’t betray me, what might it be trying to teach me right now?
What “sign” would I recognize right now that would help me move forward?
Let’s Talk About It (For Real)
We’ve created a free Substack sisterhood where we go deeper into these conversations, share our own tower moments, and support you while you move through yours.
Think: pep talks, messy breakthroughs, and actual replies from us.
✨ Join the Trust Yourself Sisterhood on Substack
Need Guidance Right Now?
Book one of our S.O.S. Calls (Seeking Out Solutions) and get:
A 45-min intuitive reading + energy scan
Guided messages from Spirit + tarot/oracle pull
Personalized coaching on how to tap into your own intuition
Actionable next steps + a supportive sister duo in your corner
🎁 We’re offering 50% OFF through May 1st, 2025→ Promo code: Podcast50
📞 Book an S.O.S. Call →
Sisterhood of Trust
Full Transcript
Heidi (00:00)
I swear I am trusting my gut, but it keeps fucking me over
For generations, women were shamed for trusting themselves, sensing things before they happened, and believing in their own power. No one encouraged them to embrace it until now. Welcome to Trust Yourself.
So apparently trusting yourself doesn't mean life gets easier. Spoiler alert! So if you've ever felt like trusting yourself only made things worse, this episode is definitely going to be one that you want to listen to. Today we're going to break down why sometimes it feels like your gut is leading you straight into a dumpster fire. We're also going to talk about how to shift your perspective when you are stuck in it and what to do when blind faith just is not enough.
Elise (00:46)
That's for people like me. No, wait, that's specifically for me. Thanks. I honestly thought that when I took any of the bold moves and made big changes in my life when I was really following my gut, that it would have immediate payout. Of course, surprise, it doesn't. I thought I would always have immediate payout, but sometimes it felt like I was led straight into a dumpster fire. And why the heck is that? Does that mean that...
My intuition is wrong, is something else happening, is something wrong with me?
Heidi (01:19)
Nothing's wrong with you. Your intuition's not betraying you right now. I just think it can be a really slippery slope when this starts to happen. And this does happen so often. Like we've all been there where we feel like we're doing the right things. And why does it just feel like life is spiraling? But what happens is because you start to believe your intuition is unreliable, then you stop trusting yourself altogether. So you think your intuition's unreliable because you trusted your gut and now shit's on fire.
So now you're thinking, I guess I just can't trust my gut at all, right? Well, that's not what we want you to do. I don't believe that your gut is ever wrong. I personally think that we just don't ever see the big picture when we're in it. So this is exactly what happened to Sissy. And she trusted herself and took that leap. And she expected things to just fall into place, but instead things got harder for her. So Sissy, would you walk us through what it was like when you were in that? yeah.
Elise (02:16)
And this is just one of the many, I would call them tower moments in my life, but I am a Scorpio, so I think this does happen quite a bit, right?
Heidi (02:23)
You get many tower moments as a Scorpio. Always changing, always transforming. That's what happens.
Elise (02:28)
So
one of them though that I do want to share with you is I was in a job, a very, very stable career for about almost seven years. And I felt this nudge, this, just this pull that, my gosh, I need to try this other architecture firm. There's something there that I just know it's going to work out. Maybe that's where my career is going to take off. I just, have to try it. And so I did. And it was really, really hard to leave.
my job because I loved the people at my old firm. They were great. They were super nice. And telling them was also like ripping off a bandaid and I cried and everyone cried. But they were also very happy for me to be following my gut, right? They're like, you know, if this is what you've got to do, you've got to do it. And I said that if I don't try this, I'm going to have regrets. I'm going to always think, well, what if maybe I should have done that.
and I'll always kick myself for never trying it. So I did. I'm not joking at my new job. During the orientation at my new job, I knew this was not a good decision. Sucked. I was walking through really wanting to love this place because I loved the idea behind it. I loved everything that they talked about in our interview. It was fantastic.
Heidi (03:37)
god. It's-
Fantastic!
Elise (03:51)
And sitting there through this orientation, meeting my team, meeting the whole firm and understanding what my role would be and how I fit into it, I'm just, there's this knowing inside of me that, nope, this isn't it. Crap, I made the wrong decision. And so instantly, of course, I'm like, damn it, Elise, why did you follow your intuition? My intuition's wrong. So like Heidi was saying, like, of course that I'm spiraling and I'm like, my God, I'm...
can never trust my intuition anymore. But of course, again, being me, even though I knew within two hours that this was not for me, I waited a whole year, of course, to say, you know, maybe it's okay and it'll work itself out. And it never did. But I said, you know, I know I'm not going to be here forever. I'm just, I can't, I would, this would destroy me. So I...
Heidi (04:30)
Sure she did.
Elise (04:47)
Again, after a year, I put in my notice there and went back to my old firm.
Heidi (04:51)
plot twist.
Elise (04:54)
But after that, I spiraled a little bit. was like, well, damn, I made a huge mistake and now I'm coming back to my old firm like a dog with a tail between her legs. Like, come on, I fucked up. But then I started to realize that after I left my firm the first time, it was a lot easier to leave it a second time for a much better firm and then leave again when...
Other stuff was happening at my family and Heidi and I deciding we're going to maybe start this new business.
Heidi (05:28)
Maybe.
We're in it, girlfriend.
Elise (05:31)
At the time, I was like, I don't know, maybe yes, maybe not. However, it made it so much easier for me to be like, no, I'm gonna take this leap again because I knew I already did it once. So that was something that in the moment when I was doing, following my intuition, following my gut, I thought crap, this was a bad decision. But years later, I'm seeing that that had to happen for me to be able to take this even bigger leap.
And that's something that I just would not have seen in the moment. In the moment, I'm like, this is a dumpster fire. I fucked up.
Heidi (06:07)
Yeah, because you can only see what's directly in front of you at the moment. It's so hard for us as humans to take a huge step backwards. Like we are not the universe. We don't know what the big plan is, so we can't see past what we're just doing right now. You're saying that the first move that you made from your original firm to a new firm, that was like step one of trusting yourself, right? And then you...
ended up feeling like it wasn't the right move. So you went back to the original firm. Yep. And then you felt guilty for going back to the original firm because you felt like, well, why did I even take that year off? you realize now how much you learned in that year at the other firm. But not only that, but then when you did leave that original firm to a new firm, that was an easier transition because you had already trusted yourself to make that leap.
And again, you still didn't know if this new place was going to be any better than the other new place, right? Right. But it was. Thank goodness. It was.
Elise (07:16)
And that whole year at this, I'm not going to name names, but this whole year at this difficult firm, I did gain a lot of independence and trust in myself as an architect. Whereas at my old firm, was, well, it was great. It was fantastic, but I was kind of floating by, right? I didn't have as much independence. I was just working for other people. And now I really figured out how to be a project manager and gained all this independence and...
My team was kind of a clusterfuck, I pulled us all together and I'm like, hot damn, we're gonna do this. So then I kind of built up my own confidence in a way in this dumpster fire. I'm building my own confidence and that's what I could not see in the moment and what I could only see when I moved on and realized, shit, I do have some skills. Hey. Yeah, girl. Look at my resume grow.
Heidi (08:06)
So great. my god, girl, don't talk to me about long resumes. I'm pretty sure mine is about five pages long if I actually put together every single one of my jobs and included ones like Petco when I worked there for two weeks. So I get it.
Elise (08:21)
Get it? Well rounded, we say.
Heidi (08:23)
So when you were in that year, transition year, I would call that, in the second firm, did you feel like your life was crumbling?
Elise (08:35)
Yes, 100%. Yeah, I came home every night crying to Sean like, they made a huge mistake. I just, but I got to suck it up. So don't feel sorry for me. I'm just going to do it.
Heidi (08:47)
So we talked about tower moments earlier and apologies, we forgot to kind of explain what that was. For those who don't know it, in tarot, there is a card called the tower card. It really means that there's going to be a big shakeup in your life that's absolutely shaking your foundation. The tower falls down. In some pictures, this card is like a person jumping out of a tower or it's the tower falling over. It's very shocking.
I don't know. They are jarring sometimes, but that's what it is. It's a jarring surprise and it could be a good one or it could be what is perceived as a quote unquote bad one in the moment. But as we say with Scorpios, they're always transforming. So they have a lot of these tower moments. So I use the term tower moment in my life all the time when it feels like everything, my foundation is crumbling, but I know
What that means is something's being torn down to build something up even better. So it sounds like with your transition year, it was tearing you down almost internally, but it built you up so much stronger with all this confidence.
Elise (10:00)
Right? 100%. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't want to admit it, but yes.
Heidi (10:03)
Well,
and you didn't see it either because you wouldn't see it in the moment. All you see is fire in front of you and chaos and mayhem and everything is just burning and crumbling. But it's not until later when we're rebuilding and that we notice how much stronger these foundations and your new self and your new identity can become. But you just won't notice it in the moment. So what I feel like this is what I call these tower moments or these moments where you feel like you're trusting yourself and you're going with your gut.
and then it feels like your life crumbles. I think this is a setup from the universe. I have this elaborate image in my brain of a hedge maze. Think Harry Potter, Goblet of Fire, number four. Harry Potter, number four. Think Harry Potter, number four. Goblet of Fire. When they go into the hedge maze and then it starts to shift and change and everybody is like,
freaking out because you you can't trust anything.
Elise (11:04)
change in the maze.
Heidi (11:06)
Do
change in the maze. So what I imagine is that we're walking through life and life is this big hedge maze. And because we can make our own decisions, we have free will and we are still following our intuition. We can go left, we can go right, we can stay straight, we can do whatever we want. And the universe knows what the big picture is going to be, what the big outcome is supposed to be for your life, your soul contract, if that's what you want to believe in. But what it does is
this maze shifts and I call it the chick chicks very random. But I also think of like pinball, like a pinball machine and having like, you know, like the, what do you call them? Flappers? I guess I would call them flappers. Yeah. Yeah. So I imagine that it's like, okay, so you go this way and the universe like maybe, you know, that wasn't the way it really wanted you to go, but it has a chick chick, a little like a chick and it just like boop.
You're gonna have to watch this on our YouTube because I'm using my hands a lot in this episode. I apologize.
Elise (12:11)
Well, maybe it's just like the maze shifts everything like you go down one path and then the hedges move a little bit like You don't took that path fine. We can make that work shift shimmy shimmy shimmy chick chick chick ding ding ding, whatever
Heidi (12:23)
Yeah, that would be a really easy way to explain it, but in my head it's got chick chicks. So I had to talk about the chicks.
Elise (12:29)
What is the analogy though? It's so beautiful and it makes me so happy because things can still work out no matter what decision you decide to take.
Heidi (12:38)
You really can't fuck this up. You really can't fuck up life. You can't this up. Like you really have to work at fucking up life. Yeah. Okay, so let's say that you're trusting yourself and things aren't working out. So what can we actually do? What can we do to feel like we're getting our lives back on track? This is when I feel like we really need to start asking the universe for guidance or signs or help. This is what I love to do is asking for a specific sign.
And Sissy, you really love to ask for a sign and then you receive that sign and then you ask for a sign-ier sign.
Elise (13:14)
It's not good enough. It wasn't quite what I asked for.
Heidi (13:18)
Okay, pro tip guys, the universe works in mysterious ways. So sometimes it's not exactly what you asked for, but it's enough in a way so that you know that that was the sign. I have a fabulous example for you. Sissy, you asked for a sign, I don't even remember what the question was, but you had asked for a sign of a green feather. Do you remember what the question was?
Elise (13:40)
I have no idea. One of my many problems, I'm sure. Yeah.
Heidi (13:43)
That
is besides the point. So she asked for a green feather.
Elise (13:47)
Right? Yes, I wanted to see a green feather when I was walking outside somewhere. I pictured a literal green feather falling on the floor.
Heidi (13:57)
and that's the exact image she had in her head. that's only thing she would accept, right? That is the only thing she would accept to know for sure that she was on her right path. But what did the universe deliver instead?
Elise (14:10)
Well, my son came home that day with a drawing of a feather, and it was a rainbow feather. Hmm, it had green in it, but it wasn't all green and it wasn't a literal feather.
Heidi (14:20)
Interesting.
It had green in it and it was a drawing.
Elise (14:27)
and
accepted. know, know. Girl. Looking back now, obviously I'm gonna slap myself, but that was me.
Heidi (14:34)
It's just funny. So if you ask the universe for a sign, just know that it can come in many forms. You'll just know it's the right sign because if it connects in your head as, yep, that's what it is, then that's the universe answering you. So have faith, but also be open to other opportunities, other ideas, like when the universe is going to show you and give you all these little nudges. So instead of asking for a sign or
In addition to asking for a sign, I also really like to pull tarot cards. And here's my confession time. So Sissy always asks for a signier sign. I am a Virgo and Virgos really like to control outcomes. And when we get an outcome that we don't like, we say, no, I don't know. I'm not going to take that as an answer. Sometimes I'll be doing tarot for myself. This is why I have somebody else do my tarot readings.
Cause I'll do tarot for myself and I'll pull a card and then I'll pretend like I didn't see it and I shove it right back in. And I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I want the outcome to be. Let's try again. Try again, tarot deck or.
Elise (15:41)
I didn't pull this in reverse. I pulled it actually this
Heidi (15:46)
I've actually been known to like get a card and be like abso-fucking-lutely I don't want that tower and I shove it back in and then I shuffle it again and then I pull the same fucking card again and the universe is like you dumb shit you need to actually listen to me when I'm trying to speak to you so that is definitely something that I do I can read tarot for other people no problem let me just
Elise (16:07)
She's actually really good at it. I love it.
Heidi (16:10)
It's just for myself. There's too many emotions attached to myself. So pulling tarot or an oracle card is something that I like to do to get guidance as well when I feel so stuck in this tower moment or this dumpster fire. But another thing that we do and that you guys can do too is just talking to other people who are in this same journey, like have gone through this. Maybe they haven't been through the exact same dumpster fire that you're in.
but we've all been there where we feel like everything we're doing is wrong. And we have started a free sub stack that we're super excited about. It's going to have our weekly newsletters in it and Cissy and I are gonna be in it and we can comment and chat back and forth, but we're there for support. We wanna be your cheerleaders. We're also gonna share our journey, cause we're doing this right now. This is real time journeying right now. So we'll be in there. So head to our website, all the...
The links will be in our show notes, but if you want to hit up our sub stack, we'd love to see you in there.
Elise (17:11)
Yeah, and Heidi, I think it's also important to say that if you are reaching out for support, making sure you understand who you're asking support from and what their motives may be or even their outlook on this situation, because sometimes you can just spiral even more if you're talking to a friend that's just, we've all been there, we all have that friend and all have been that friend that just kind of bitch and complain, right? If you just like...
yeah, I know I'm in the same shitty job too. And then it just gets super negative. But I think that's why we have the Substack support, right? That we really want to make sure we're being uplifting, but also honest. We know that it's not easy. So I will share one thing too that I did when I was in this, one of my many tower moments, but specifically the one I shared with you about my career, but.
I tried the things that Heidi talked about, you I tried to look for signs, but like Heidi said, I was too picky and nothing was ever working and I am not good at pulling tarot. Sometimes I'm a little skeptical, but one thing that worked for me was that when I was in that moment, of course you can't see the bigger picture, but what I did do was I made sure that I told myself, despite the fact that I felt like I fucked up, I told myself it's
Okay, it's okay to fuck up. I can fuck up and still love myself. I can fuck up. It's okay. I'm I said fuck a lot. I hope little kids aren't listening. But I wasn't going to allow myself to get stuck in that and I wanted so badly, even if I wasn't gonna leave that career right away, leave that job, I took time to kind of daydream more possibilities, say, well, if I don't like the situation I'm in right now and I'm
being stubborn and unwilling to go back to my old firm because I look like an idiot, I am going to just daydream what that would look like. And it kind of gave me something to look forward to. I wasn't really getting stuck in a fantasy, but it started with just the daydream, right? And then it allowed me to open up my brain to possibilities and whatever could be out there. And then I think it did just manifest because one day my old boss just texted me. She's like, how are things going?
And I said, you know, they're okay. And she asked if we wanted to go out for lunch. And I said, you know what, maybe this is it. This is, this is my possibility that's coming back. Yes, I'm going to lunch and right there on the spot, she offered me a job to come back. I fucking took it. As you should. As I should. And that was really like, if I was just going to sit in that sulky moment, like, no, the universe told me to be here. So I'm going to just.
freaking live it out and something will come along and then no, I had to take those actions. had to actually be proactive about dreaming about something, doing something and taking that lunch date with my boss. You know, it wasn't, it could have, I could have just passed it up because I could have been like, Nope, Nope, I'm here now and I'm, I'm living with my choices.
Heidi (20:24)
Ew, I hate saying living with my choices. It brings me instantly back to childhood of like, I feel like mom used to say that all the time. Like, you gotta live with your choices and it just makes you feel like you can always make bad choices and all I ever do is make the wrong choice.
Elise (20:40)
She was referring to dessert, right? Like you chose this dessert and now you have to eat dessert.
Heidi (20:45)
I don't remember. I'm pretty sure I applied it to every single choice in my life and I was like, well, I just can't make a good damn choice.
Elise (20:52)
Well, I definitely think that this all ties back to, yes, we're gonna be in these bad choices, what we perceive as bad choices. But like you said, Heidi, your intuition isn't going to give you a bad choice. It's gonna have a bigger picture. When we are stuck in this kind of a spiral, when we're stuck in this situation that seems like it's wrong, even though we followed our gut, we shouldn't use this as a time to sit and sulk. I also wanna kind of take a...
sidestep here and say if you are in like a toxic situation but you think you went there because you are following your intuition, don't use this as a free pass to say, well, I'm going to sit in that toxic situation because I followed my intuition. No, you still should maybe ask your intuition again. Should I really be here? Ask for those signs. Pulittero. Does it feel right?
Heidi (21:43)
that really feel right to be in this toxic situation.
Elise (21:48)
Yes. And then take action. Don't just sit back and say, this is happening to me. No, these things are happening for you. And if you can see it that way, then you can see other doors open up. Yeah.
Heidi (22:01)
really do think that the best thing that you can do in this situation is just to build confidence in your intuition and keep staying open to those opportunities and those signs because you can never see the full masterpiece when you're just in the middle of a brushstroke. You're not going to see the full picture. So one thing that we're offering right now is we really want to help anybody who's going through that hell right now, who they're feeling like they're in the depths of their
power moment, we'll say. So you're in the dumpster fire, shit's hitting the fan, whatever analogy you want to, just basically chaos, mad chaos happening. And you're just, you're not making the wrong moves. That's what we really want you guys to remember and just know and take away. You've never made a wrong move. You're not making the wrong moves now and you didn't make wrong moves in the past. You're just, still being guided by the universe. But if you would like just a little bit more guidance or a boost just in the right direction,
we'd love for you guys to book one of our SOS calls, and that stands for Seeking Out Solutions. So we really wanna help you guys get a lot of clarity on your next steps, like what are you gonna be doing, or how should you move forward in this situation? So what you get in our SOS calls is a 45-minute personalized coaching call with both me and Sissy, where we're gonna figure out how your intuition talks to you, look for those blocks, hunt for them together, and then you'll get a personalized
intuitive reading from us that kind of shows you how to get out of those blocks, but it's also going to include an energy body scan to discover any blocked chakras and then tips on how to clear out that energy. then we'll also, well, Sissy will give you some guided messages from Spirit and sometimes loved ones like to pop in there and give you guys some messages too. So that's always fun. And then as a bonus, I will give you guys a tarot and oracle reading for free.
So if you want to book an SOS call with us, the link is in the show notes. We would love to chat with you guys. And if you ever want to chat with us or even just send in one of your stories, feel free to email us or send us a DM on Instagram as well. All those links are in the show notes.
Elise (24:15)
Until next time, it's your move, Sis
Heidi (24:17)
Make it count.